Lost Marbles
by Super-Saiyan-3-Vegeta
Summary: On the night before the first task. Harry seeks help from Dumbledore, only to be rejected. His mind trying to comprehend all the things that have happened to him in 14 yrs is to much to take. His mind snaps. What occurs afterwards is madness Pairing: Harry/Hermione/Luna
1. Lost Marbles

Err... Chapter 3000 or something?

A/N: This will pretty much be a comedy fic. It will be a Harry/Hermione/Luna pairing. So if you don't like, sorry. Thanks :)

Participation.

The Night Before The First Task!

"Sir, I don't think I can do this." Harry blurted out. Sweat was beginning to drip down his brow. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at the young man. "I was being honest when I said I did not put my name in the Goblet sir. I already have enough people trying to murder me, why would I want to jump into a competition that's basically trying to do the same?" Harry asked, hoping Dumbledore could understand, and perhaps shed some light on the subject.

Dumbledore stood there for a moment, his hand stroking his beard. Finally, he turned to Harry. "I really don't know. But, rest assured, that if I find the answer. I shall tell you my boy." He answered jovially.

Harry stared at the headmaster with an 'are you serious?' look. Dumbledore took Harry's silence as a good thing. He patted the boy-who-lived on the head like a puppy, then proceeded out the door.

Harry made his way out of the headmaster's office in a daze. He spotted an unoccupied classroom and quickly ducked in. Harry stood there in silence for a moment, his mind playing over Dumbledore's words, or rather the lack of them. His mind began to scroll through all the things that had happened to him in the past fourteen years. He had a mad wizard kill his family, yet he survived. He was deposited with his Aunt and Uncle, both who hated magic, and both who treated him like a slave since before he could walk. First year he was nearly killed by a possessed professor and a ten foot mountain troll. Second year there was the whole Giant killer snake, throw in the fact that the school thought he was the heir of Slytherin and it didn't get any better. Third year wasn't that great either. There was the Dementors who seemed obsessed with trying to take Harry's soul. There was also the whole traveling back in time to rescue his godfather and Buckbeak. This year, there were the Death Eater's at the Quiddich World Cup. Now, it seems someone was out to do him in, only this time they want to make it public it seems. The stress of the past three years, coupled with the abuse he suffered from his aunt and uncle. Harry Potter's mind snapped.

Several witches that were passing by swore they heard the laughter of an insane person before they quickly hurried past the unused classroom.

…...

Day of the first task...

"Oh Harry, please be careful." Hermione said, throwing her arms around him for her infamous bone crushing hug. What happened next caught her by total surprise.

"Hermione..." Harry whispered into her ear. She pulled her head back to look at him, only to find his lips pressed against hers. "Mmmphh..." was the only thing she could mutter. The surprise of the kiss caught her off balance, now his tongue was asking for entrance. At that moment, Hermione decided that she liked Harry Potter as more than a friend, and opened her lips, granting him access.

A bright flash brought the two back to the present. The kiss broke and the pair stared at a strangely dressed witch with large glasses.

"Mr. Potter, I'm Rita Skeeter from the Daily Prophet. Do you have time for an interview?" She asked sweetly. Her eyes kept darting to Hermione, who happened to still be holding on to Harry.

"I'm sorry Ms. Skeeter, but you did not address me properly." Harry said in a cold tone.

Hermione's head spun from Rita to Harry while raising an eyebrow. Rita seemed equally surprised.

"I'm not sure tha..." Rita began, only for Harry to cut her off. "I am the last of the Potter line Ms. Skeeter. You will address me as Lord Potter, least you have the full weight of my house upon you." He snarled.

"Yes My Lord," Rita said quickly. "It was just a surprise that you knew about your title My Lord."

"Yes, it seems many people will be surprised when I announce that little bit," Harry paused for a moment as he suddenly got an idea. "I'll tell you what Rita, I'll give you the best story since the demise of the dark wanker," Harry held up his hand as Rita began to speak. "All I ask is that you leave any information about my girlfriend out of your articles. There are many people that wish to harm me. I do not want her to be harmed."

"Girlfriend?" Both Rita and Hermione said at the same time. Harry turned to Hermione. "Yes, that is if you want to be my girlfriend." He asked with his patented crooked smile. Hermione felt her legs become jelly. She could only nod, not trust herself to speak at the moment.

Rita shook her head, trying to clear away the shock. "As you wish, Lord Potter." She started to turn, only to have Harry grip her shoulder. She turned back to Harry with an eyebrow raised.

"Know this Rita, if you betray my trust I will bury you. Understood?" The command in his voice, left little room for doubt. Rita could only nod in understand. Hermione however, seeing a different side of Harry, a side that she suddenly found highly desirable, decided that she most definitely was happy to be Harry's girlfriend. She also planned for some serious snogging sessions as well.

The moment Rita exited the tent, Harry turned back to Hermione, his crooked smile back in place. Hermione bit her lip to hide her whimper as her legs turned to jelly again. She was a goner for sure.

…...

"What's got you so loopy?" Ron asked.

Hermione had stumbled out the tent and slowly made her way to the stands. She now found herself sitting beside Ron.

"Nothing," She answered with a dreamy smile.

Ron eyed her suspiciously. "Well, I gu..." He didn't get to finish as he was suddenly bowled over by Lavender and Pavarti.

"Ok Hermione. Spill It, who did you kiss?" Lavender said in one breath.

Hermione's face tinged pink. "What... I.. uh.. How did you know?" She asked.

Lavender and Pavarti looked at each other before looking back at her. "You're really asking us this?"

Hermione couldn't help it. For the first time that either Lavender or Pavarti could remember, Hermione let out a girlish giggle.

"So who was it?" Lavender asked. "Yeah, tell us Hermione!" Pavarti pressed her.

Hermione, blushing furiously, tried to look anywhere else but the two girls. Ron chose this moment to open his mouth, which wasn't surprising.

"Hermione, who's the bloke? Do I know him?" Ron growled.

Hermione's face became even redder. This seemed to click for the two witches. "Oh My God! It's Harry Isn't it!" Lavender squealed. Unfortunately, she squealed loud enough for half the stands to overhear.

"What about Harry?" Ron asked.

Hermione spun to face the red head, her face still burning with embarrassment. "Ron, Harry and I... well… you see it's... uh..." She stammered.

Whether it was luck or bad luck, Pavarti chose that moment to come to her defense. "You should be happy for Hermione Ron. Harry's chosen his betrothed."

"WHAT! That's not..." She was cut off as she quickly became bombarded by questions.

The gossip ring soon spread, and by the time it was Harry's turn. The whole school now knew that Hermione was Harry Potter's betrothed.

As Harry entered the ring, Hermione gripped her hair in worry. She ignored the jealous looks Ron was sending back and forth between Harry and her.

Harry stood there for a moment with his hand raised. 'This is it, he's going with the plan that we practiced with. He's summoning his Firebolt.'

To her surprise a large crate came flying towards Harry. It dropped to the ground and skidded to a halt in front of the wizard. The dragon still hadn't moved. It was watching this human, daring him to make an attempt at its young.

Back in the stands Hermione was tugging harder on her hair. "What do you think Harry's got in the crate?" Seamus asked.

Hermione could only shake her head as Harry rummaged through the crate. Finally, they crowd heard a 'Got It' from Harry as he pulled a long metallic object from the crate.

"Hey, what's that he's got in his hand Hermione?" Ron asked, his jealously momentarily forgotten.

Hermione scrunched her eyes to focus. Suddenly, she realized what it was. She jumped to her feet, startling several people.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! DON'T YOU DARE FIRE THAT THI..." She was cut off as Harry pulled the trigger.

The object in his hands, a portable, specially designed rocket launcher, went off without a hitch. The rocket shot off like a bullet. The dragon, which had its mouth open, didn't have time to react as the rocket plunged into its mouth. Hermione had just enough time to see Harry duck behind a rock, before the dragon exploded.

Several witches and wizards, who had already been ducking in fear from the noise from the rocket launcher, found themselves bathed in the gory matter of the Dragon.

…...

Harry kissed the rocket launcher before gently placing it back into the crate. "There there girl. You did great." He said, patting the lid as he shut it.

He looked up to see a sight that made him struggle to hold in his laughter. Several witches and wizards were heading towards him. Only, they were covered in various bits of the dragon. Harry noticed Hermione with them, she looked the most upset. 'Perhaps it's because of the entrails hanging from her now gunky hair.' He wondered.

Hermione looked murderous. "HARRY JAMES POTTER! WH..." Dumbledore, sensing the oncoming explosion from the witch, intervened.

"Harry my boy, what exactly was that device you used?" Dumbledore asked.

"Hmmm, not sure the exact specs but I know it was a Russian made rocket launcher. Why do you ask? Are you interested in getting one for Boxing Day? They do come quite handy, don't they?" Harry said cheerfully.

Several dead panned stares greeted Harry. It was Dumbledore, who shaking his head, decided to address the most pressing issue.

"Harry, Do you realize what you have done? You have taken the life of a sentient, magical creature."

Harry swiveled on his feet to look Dumbledore in the eye. "It was kill or be killed."

"You weren't supposed to kill the Dragons," Ludo Bagman yelled. "There was minimal danger to yourself Mr. Potter. I'm afraid that your score will suffer for you harming the Dragon."

Raising an eyebrow, Harry said. "I think you are mistaken Mr. Bagman. I didn't harm the Dragon."

Several disbelieving looks were aimed at him. "You've got be joking?" Ludo asked.

"As I said I didn't harm the Dragon. I obliterated it. Now, if you don't mind I need to take my girlfriend for a nice bath." He said the last part winking at Hermione.

The witch in question was busy opening and closing her mouth, trying to figure out how best to tear into Harry. She was still doing the mouth movements of a fish as Harry led her away.

As Harry and Hermione faded into the distance, Ludo turned to Dumbledore. "Are you sure the Potter kid is sane? He's acting a bit loony."

Dumbledore frowned. "I assure you Ludo, Harry is perfectly fine."

A loud scream suddenly pierced the air. Dumbledore and the rest of the judges quickly made their way towards the commotion. As they arrived they found a number of students gathered around in a circle. Dumbledore easily broke into the circle, only to stop and stare in confusion.

Harry was ridding atop the oddest pony he had ever seen. The pony was blue, with rainbow colored hair. Dumbledore noticed Ms. Granger standing off to the side with 'Sparkles in her eyes?'

Shaking his head, he quickly made his way over to where Harry was. Said wizard was whooping with joy as he held on to the pony's mane.

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing?"

Harry glanced towards Dumbledore. "I'm riding a pony, what does it look like?"

"But where did you get this pony?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry seemed to think for a moment, rubbing his chin absently. "Well, I figured Malfoy did make a great ferret at one time. So I figured he wouldn't mind giving rides as a pony. After seeing my cousin Dudley watch his super, secret, television show. Now, who's next?" Harry said, turning to the gathered students.

Dumbledore let out a groan as Hermione, followed by Cho and Lavender, made a mad dash to see who got the next ride.

'Could Ludo be right? Has the pressure finally gotten to Harry? Yes, I think I need to consult with a mind healer from St. Mungo's'

"Alright Harry, you finally did it." A new voice exclaimed. Dumbledore and a few others, including Harry turned to see a blond, blue-eyed girl smiling at the raven haired boy.

"Who might you be? Are you in on the conspiracy?" He asked suspiciously.

Luna smiled a very dream smile. "No silly, but I know the goblins are still upset because Fudge stole their prized golden pants from the lobby of their main bank." She said.

"A quest my lady. Come, we have much to do." He said, jumping to his feet. Harry grabbed Hermione, who squealed, before grabbing the girls hand as well. The trio set off towards the castle, and Dumbledore hoped, the library. He decided then that he needed a quick pick me up from his private stores. He shook his head and headed off after the trio, nobody really seemed to care that Draco was still an exact replica of Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony. After all, who knows how long the spell would last. They were going to enjoy the rides as long as they could.

**A/N: Well, It's been a while folks. But, I'm back. I want to give big thanks to Spartan Ninja for becoming my Beta. Thanks so much. It was pointed out to me that MLP is something somewhat new. I was actually going for the 80's version, but it doesn't really matter. This fic isn't meant to be serious. This will be a humorous and extremely strange story. Even Spartan had to wonder what he just edited hehe. So if you liked this, than stay tuned for more insanity. Oh and one more thing. While the rocket launcher idea isn't exactly original, nothing in fanfic rarely is. It was just something stuck in my head at the time. Thanks to all you guys and girls that make authors keep writing.**


	2. Golden Eggs and Giant Squids!

**Golden Eggs and Giant Squids!**

**Disclaimer: Yep, I don't nor will I ever own Harry Potter.**

**Thanks Spartan Ninja for putting up with my writing ;)**

**Headmaster's Office: Late evening...**

"Thank you for coming. I believe we have a serious problem," Dumbledore began. Around the table sat each of the heads of house. Madam Pomphrey was seated as well. With a cough he began. "As you know earlier today, young Mr. Potter showed some unusual behavior. I have asked a healer to do an evaluation as soon as possible. St. Mungo's informed me that one of their specialists would be here first thing tomorrow. Now, as you know, Harry has to compete in the tournament due to the magical contract. What I'm worried about is his mental state; will he be able to handle it?"

The room was quiet for a moment. Unfortunately, it was only for a moment. "As usual Perfect Potter is playing you fools. The boy is obviously doing this for attention. His father was same." Snape said sneering.

What happened next surprised everyone. One moment Snape was leaning back in his, the next he was sprawled on the floor clutching his face after a resounding smack was heard in the room. All eyes were on McGonagall as she pulled her hand back.

"You self-conceited bastard. Young Harry has been entered into this tournament against his will and all you can think about is he's doing it for attention?" Snape said nothing, except sneer more maybe as he fixed himself back into his seat. He was about to interject, but McGonagall cut him off. "Harry is not James Severus, let it go," She turned to Albus. "As for Harry dealing with the tournament, from what I gather from his friends, he came to see you yesterday about this specific matter? What did you tell him?"

Albus' silence spoke volumes. This infuriated the already angered witch. "I have to say I feel truly sorry for the lad. He has had to endure a sorry lot in his young life already. I think he just couldn't take anymore. Poppy, do you agree with me?"

Poppy Pomphrey had been quiet through the whole discussion. Now, it was her time to speak. "I have to agree with Minerva. I did some scans and what I found was not good Albus. Harry's suffering from a magical form of a mental breakdown."

"What exactly do you mean Pomphrey?" Albus asked. 'Whatever she means, it could hurt Hogwarts', and in turn his own, reputation at home and abroad.'

"His mind has suffered traumatic experience upon traumatic experience. I have to agree with Minerva once again Albus. The constant stress in Harry's life has finally pushed the boy past the breaking point. What we have to do now," She paused to take a deep breath, "is find a way to heal his mind. There's no telling what his mental state is at the moment."

"Should we call someone from St. Mungo's? They're the experts on this." Filius Flitwick said.

"I have alread..." Albus was cut off by a sudden explosion that rocked the castle.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Snape yelled, jumping to his feet.

To everyone's surprise, the sorting hat sighed. "It seems young Mr. Potter has destroyed the potions classroom."

"WHAT!" Snape yelled. He was halfway to the door when it slammed closed. He spun on his heel and snarled at Albus. "Open the door Albus. I promise I will kill the brat slowly."

Albus held up his hand, indicating that he was not the one responsible. Snape spun towards Minerva only to have her shaking her head as well.

"Relax Slytherin head. Hogwarts herself has sealed the door," Several turned to look at the sorting hat speaking. McGonagall made to speak only to be silenced by the hat. "Do not worry professor. Hogwarts has sent elves to clean up the mess. Any punishment will be handed out by the head of Gryffindor."

"But Ms. Lovegood is one of my Ravenclaws." Filius squeaked.

"I'm sorry, but after what occurred earlier. She now is a part of young Harry, along with Ms. Granger as well." The hat said mysteriously.

"What does that mean you stupid hat." Snape snarled.

Suddenly the potions master found himself flung through the nearest window. His scream could be heard all the way down, especially the loud 'THUMP' of his impact with the ground below.

"He'll live. Now, Albus, Hogwarts wants this mess cleared up at once. Harry's behavior is nothing compared to what it could become if left unchecked," The hat was quiet for a moment, seemingly contemplating something. The hat began to speak with an ominous tone. "Hogwarts knows the truth about Harry, Albus. That is why she will do all that she can for the champion of light."

Albus paled at the hats words. 'He cannot find out, not yet.'

"Is Mr. Potter still in the potions classroom?" Minerva asked the hat, while giving Dumbledore a skeptical look.

"No, He's now making a campfire near the lake with Ms. Granger and Ms. Lovegood."

LMLMLMLMLMLMLMLMLM

"So, why exactly did I let you destroy the potions classroom?" Hermione asked. She was currently using a comb to get more of the gunk out of her hair. The stuff seemed to have no end to it.

"I told you, the room was full of negativity. It had to go 'Mione'" He said smiling.

"Don't call me that!" She growled.

"I think it's a lovely name. Some people call me Loony, but maybe I can be named Moony instead, as homage to my name?" The petite blond stated.

"Nah, I already know someone who's named Moony. And trust me; he's not as beautiful as you." Harry flirted.

Hermione stiffened. "Harry, If I'm your girlfriend. Then why are you flirting with Luna?" She asked sternly.

Harry blinked. But to his surprise, Luna answered her question. "Surely you know about the 'rights of the heir' Hermione?" Seeing the blank look on Hermione's face, the blond decided to explain. "While not very common these days, mostly well-to-do families having more than one child, the 'rights of the heir' as it's called, comes into effect when all family members have died off except for one sole, surviving heir. It then becomes that heir's responsibility to continue the bloodline. In most cases this involves taking two wives."

Hermione was silent for a while, her mind processing this new information. Her face contorted into expressions of dejectedness, dissatisfaction, confusion, thoughtful, realization, and finally acceptance. Finishing her facial contortions, she seemed to come to a decision. "OK, while I'm not exactly happy with you bringing in another woman on me Harry, and I don't think it's normal, I guess I can deal with it for your sake Harry Just make sure you don't decide to bring any other girls into our relationship. Having another is already going to be a bit complicated. Now I have to figure out how to tell my parents." She said, a bit of worry in her voice.

"Don't worry Hermione. Well tell them together." Luna said beaming.

"Err... I'm not sure if that would be a good idea Luna. My parents are very strict about some things. They may not like the fact that I'm in a relationship involving both a boy and another girl. It's just something that's not very common among muggles."

Luna was silent for a moment before smiling a very dreamy smile. "They won't understand at first Hermione. It will be up to us to make them understand, isn't that right Harry." The blond said, her steely gave focusing on Harry.

"I guess. I was just thinking it would be awesome to have two women to shag every night." He said smiling. Hermione, who had started to drink some pumpkin juice, promptly spit it all over Luna.

"WHAT!" She screeched.

"Oh good. Let's make this a game." Luna took a swallow before spewing the juice all over Harry.

By the time the staff found them, the trio were drenched in pumpkin juice.

**LMLMLMLMLMLMLMLMLM**

Albus sighed as the staff came across the three teens, all clearly drenched from head to toe.

"Harry, I would like for you to accompany me to my office. I have a few people that want to meet with you." Albus said to the young teen.

"What about us?" Hermione asked, her hand grabbing Harry and Luna's.

"Well..." Albus began, only to be cut off by Harry.

"I'm sorry sir, but these women are my betrothed."

"What."

"YAY!"

There was a flash of magic that seemed to seal the deal, so to speak of course.

Albus sighed. "Come along, it seems we have more than a few to contact tonight."

"Certainly Sir, oh by the way, I think I'm going to need a new egg." He said.

Minerva had been holding her stern tongue since they arrived. It seemed she could not hold it any longer.

"And just why do you need a new egg Mr. Potter?" The stern witch asked.

"Well..." His answer was cut off as the golden egg was seen flying through the air above them. The egg was traveling at a speed near supersonic before it hit the castle wall. Seeing the egg hit the wall, several winced, but only to gasp as the egg kept going.

…...

Several Gryffindor's and Slytherins were heading to the great hall. With potions canceled for some reason, there wasn't much to do other than have a free period.

Ron couldn't believe his luck, no Snape this morning, things were looking up.

A sudden noise caused everyone to freeze in their tracks. "Do you here that?" One of the Slytherin's asked.

"Probably just Weasley's stomach, as usual." Draco said, causing several Slytherin's to laugh.

"Shut it Malfoy." Ron snarled, already pulling his wand.

The groups had moved towards one another, seeming to anticipate the fight that was about to happen. Neither expected for the wall to explode.

Everything seemed to happen at once. The explosion knocked several onto their backs, including Malfoy. Ron turned to see a girl with dark hair, and wide blue eyes, freeze in shock. Without a thought, he pulled her down, just as the egg soared past where her head had previously been.

As the egg continued on into another wall, Ron looked down at the girl he had saved.

"Err... Sorry, didn't mean to fall on you in the process." He said, the color of his face matching his hair. 'Man, she's really cute.'

"It's okay. It's better than having my head knocked off. But, do you mind getting off of me so I can get up?" She asked, while raising a well-manicured eyebrow.

Ron blushed and nodded. He got to his feet and held out his hand. The girl took it and he pulled her to her feet. It was then that he noticed the green serpent on her robes.

"My names Tracey, Tracey Davis." She said smiling, holding out her hand.

"Uh, Ron, Ron Weasley." He stuttered. 'Why am I acting like this? She's a bloody Slytherin.'

"I know your name Weasley, I've been a classmate of yours for four years now." She said teasingly.

Ron could only nod dumbly. This girl seemed to have some weird effect on him. Not the kind that when he's around Malfoy and his lot that makes him see red, but rather one that kept him from seeing anything but this girl in front of him, as if the rest of his brain was shutting down. Which would probably explain what he did next, or it was him showing his Gryffindor colors.

"So Tracey, would you like to hang out sometime? I mean that is if you're not busy or anything," He turned to hide the blush, and to avoid the mostly like rejection. But to his surprise, she responded with a resounding "Yes." He turned to look at her. "Seriously?" At her nod he let out his own loud "YES!" before picking her up and spinning her around.

That day surprised several people. Ron Weasley asking out a Slytherin girl. And Draco finally being silenced for the first time in his life as he stared dumbly at Ron and Tracey laughing with each other.

**LMlMLMLMLMLMLMLMLM**

Snape had finally gotten his classroom back to normal. He was silently debating on the whole issue with Harry Potter. The name alone cause him to crack the beaker that was in his hand. Unfortunately for Severus Snape, the beaker was full of an explosive ingredient. Which he was unfortunately holding over an open flame. The resulting explosion caused the very grounds to shake.

**LMLMLMLMLMLMLMLMLM**

**Headmaster's Office: 11 P.M.**

Albus took off his glasses and rubbed his brow. Things had not gone well today. The healer he had requested from St. Mungo's only confirmed what Minerva had said. Harry's mind had snapped and was a torrent of emotions and impulses. With it confirmed Albus now had to decide what to do about it. On one hand he had to hold his teachers oath and insure the well-being of Harry and every other child in Hogwarts. And on the other he had to make sure Harry competed in the tournament. The loss of Harry's magic was too great of a cost.

Then there was the incident with the egg earlier. Why Harry felt it was a good idea to give the golden egg to the giant squid as a play toy was unheard of. Said squid had gotten bored quickly and threw it back. It just so happened to put all its muscle in the throw, resulting in damage being caused to the castle. Thankfully, the only person injured was Hagrid. The half giant had been bending over, picking up some firewood near his hut when he was struck in the bum by the egg. Madam Pomphrey was currently trying to dislodge the egg from his backside, with no success so far.

The issue with Harry declaring Hermione and Luna his betrothed was another discussion entirely. The heads of the girls' houses had been furious at the teens; neither believed the trio were ready to take on the adult world. Albus had to agree, but then he would be going against several old laws. If he tried to go against them, the pure-bloods would cause havoc. He informed Minerva and Filius that the trio would use one of the unused classrooms on the seventh floor as a room. He already had the school elves fixing it up to be a bedroom and common room.

He had sent an owl off to each of the girls' parents. While Ms. Grangers parents had yet to respond, Luna's father had flooed into his office earlier.

_Flashback:_

"_Luna my dear, The headmaster just told me the good news. Have you done the deed yet?" Xeno asked cheerfully. Several mouths dropped open in surprise, including Hermione._

"_Um.. Xeno, do you think that's the right question you should be asking?" McGonagall asked, more than a bit flustered at Xeno's nonchalant attitude. _

"_Not really, I trust Luna," He turned to his daughter. "Now make sure you know the contraceptive spell. I don't want babies at least for another few years ok?" He said smiling. _

"_Of course daddy, when Harry finally uses his wand to stir my cauldron properly. It will be for babies of course." The blond beamed at her father. _

_The others could only stare in complete shock as the father and daughter hugged before Xeno stepped back and departed back through the fireplace. _

_Luna turned to Harry. "So Harry, want to see my cauldron?" This caused McGonagall to faint. _

_End Flashback:_

Yes, things were starting to get out of hand. What could he do to ensure Harry wouldn't endanger himself or others.

His musing was cut short by a knock on his door.

"Come in." He said.

The door opened to admit a strange sight. Severus Snape was pink... bright pink to be precise. It wasn't just his clothes. His hair, skin, even teeth were bright pink.

"Albus, we have a problem." Snape said, fear slipping into his voice at the thought of what may be the second coming of the Marauders.

"Yes... we do." Albus said, while trying to hold his laughter in.

**A/N: Well another chapter down and out. I'm extremely thankful for all the response I've gotten for this story. Thank you all. I would also to once again state. That this is just a humor fic, so it's going to be a bit nutty and no I won't be bashing anyone. Thanks once again :D**


	3. All Hail Harry!

**All Hail... Harry?**

**Disclaimer: I... I don't own Harry Potter 'Sniffs' but I did own a taco... but it got eaten :(**

**Thanks Spartan Ninja for putting up with my writing. :)**

The self-proclaimed 'New Golden Trio' were grouped together near the black lake. Hermione was busy pouring over some notes, while Luna was humming to herself. Harry Potter, the star of the show, was currently munching down on an apple, loud enough to cause Hermione to flinch every time he took a bite. Finally, the brunette couldn't take it anymore.

"ENOUGH!" She jumped to her feet, her hair flailing wildly about. Steam seemed to be pouring out of her nose and ears. "I can't take it anymore Harry. I need some peace and quiet."

She grabbed her bag and quickly shoved her notes inside. As she turned she felt Harry grab her hand.

"I'm sorry Mione," He said, while giving her his patented, trademark puppy dog eyes.

Hermione wanted to chastise him for the use of her new 'nickname' but the eyes got to her. With a 'sigh' she sat her bag down and sat beside him. "I swear Harry, what am I going to do with you," She said. He smile and answered with a kiss. She moaned into his mouth and relaxed. Harry seemed to know how to push her all her buttons, both right and wrong ones.

Harry released her from the kiss only to find himself pounced upon by Luna. Said Blond began trying to thoroughly explore his tonsils. Hermione sighed and pulled out her notebook. Today was going to be one of those days.

In fact, the last week and a half had been strange. All of Gryffindor seemed to give them strange looks. At first it didn't bother her, but eventually it started becoming an annoyance. She had voiced her aggravation to Harry, who simply by telling her that the others just didn't understand and that she shouldn't give a shit about what they think.

She had nodded and decided to let it be. Then there was the incident with the twins. The mere thought about it caused her to roll her eyes and let out a sigh.

_Flashback:_

_It was the day after the egg incident and the trio found themselves eating lunch in the great hall. Suddenly they found themselves suddenly sandwiched between a pair of crying red-headed twins._

_Most of great hall stopped to see what terror the twins were about to unleash this time. Several jaws dropped when they saw that the pranking kings were bowing down to Harry._

"_Oh great prank lord-"_

"_-we are not-"_

"_-worthy to be in the same room-"_

"_-as you oh great one!"_

"_Please_ _teach us_ _-"_

"_-your masterful ways!"_

_The twins began to cry even harder, drawing more attention to themselves. Hermione glanced at all the attention and got a bad feeling. _

"_What are you guys talking about?" Harry asked._

_The twins got up and ceased crying as they held a rolled poster out to Harry. "Take a look at this oh great one," Gred said, holding back a chuckle. Or was it Forge?_

"_You surely will know the magnificent work that you accomplished."_

_Curious, Harry unrolled the poster. Hermione noticed his face contort; it was as if he was trying to hold a straight face. She and Luna leaned over to peak at what had him struggling to hold a straight face. What she saw, well, it was hard for her to describe. But of course, Luna could._

"_Oh look Harry, someone finally caught the rare giant pink bat of Britain," She said cheerfully. "Daddy, had told me they were extinct." _

_Finally unable to take it, Harry burst out laughing. Hermione found herself, along with the twins, joining him._

_Once they were able to calm themselves, Hermione turned to the twins. "Just out of curiosity, where did you get this?" She asked._

_The twins turned to each other and smiled. "That-"_

"_-is a trade secret my dear."_

_Hermione rolled her eyes. Of course the twins would refuse to tell. There was a noise as several students gasped. She looked up to see many of her fellow classmates each holding a copy of the scroll her group was currently looking at. The reactions were different for each of the students. Most laughed to their hearts content._

_She looked at Fred and George who winked at her. "What? It's not like Snape has many photo's anyway. We always knew he wanted to mimic a bat. Now, he's one for sure."_

_Hermione cringed slightly when the scream came from the head table. Snape, minus the pink look, was glaring daggers at the twins._

"_I KNEW IT WAS YOU! 200 points from Gryffindor!" He roared._

_The hall went instantly silent. Head's turned to see what the twins response was. To their surprise, McGonagall stood up._

"_Severus, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to give those points back," Snape looked as if she just stole his favorite teddy. McGonagall shook her head. "Severus, there is no evidence that implicates the twins. I for one don't condone pranks of this nature or any kind at all, but I'm going to have to dismiss this Severus for lack of substantial evidence. But rest assured, I will find the perpetrators who did this." The last bit found her gaze settling in on Harry. Hermione raised an eyebrow as Harry nodded his head ever so slightly before going back to his meal._

_Snape couldn't take it and stormed out of the great hall. _

_Hermione sighed as Harry smirked. "You had a hand in this didn't you?" She asked. _

"_Me? How dare you could say such a thing Hermione!" He smirked. She shook her head and went back to eating._

_End Flashback:_

Since then every time a student passed they would give Harry the thumbs up. It was rumored that Madam Pomphrey had to sedate Snape. He apparently couldn't take it anymore. Last she heard he was sitting in a medical bed, while holding his teddy, and muttering about how 'it's all Potter's fault'.

The trio looked up as the half-giant Hagrid passed by. He gave the trio a wave and they returned his greeting. The half-giant was still a little paranoid. Ever since the egg incident he has been walking a little bow-legged. Add in the fact that he's had to wear an XXXL version of wizarding depends didn't help. Something that would normally be cured for wizards or witches wasn't much use for the half-giant with them being resistant to most spells and all.

She felt sorry for the half-giant. He really was gentle in his own way. She turned to Harry.

"So, what do you want to do today?" She asked. The smirk on his face made her sigh.

"Kissing practice of course, but if that's not in your planner. I can think of something else," He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I believe I can make time for that I guess," She said, while tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. "But of course, it depends if you behave yourself, Mr. Potter." She finished with a smirk.

"Very good Ms. Granger, very good," he said, returning her smirk.

"Have you forgotten about me Harry?" Luna asked. Harry turned to see the blond pouting.

"Of course not my dear, I would never dream of it." He said, pulling said blond into a soul searing kiss.

Hermione was silent for a moment, her mind seeming to try to figure out the best way to tell Harry. Finally, she made her decision.

"Harry," At hearing his name he turned to look at her. "I got word from my parents this morning. Their not to happy, they want to meet with us."

He was silent for a moment before answering. "Well, I think we can arrange that. But, that's for later. Now, let's go torture Malfoy some more."

"Will you ever get tired to torturing him Harry?" She sighed. Since Harry's change he's been pranking Draco almost nonstop. Normally, she wouldn't care at all. But, for the last few days there's been rumors filtering out from the dungeons that Draco's has becoming increasingly paranoid. She sighed and turned to Harry. He was currently whispering something to Luna. Whatever it is, it had the blond giggling. She shook her head and turned back to her books. Well, there was always more studying to be done she guessed. Harry had other plans however, as he pulled her into a kiss.

**HPHPHPHPHPH**

Dumbledore poured himself a shot of fire whiskey before quickly gulping it down. It was times like these that he really needed a pick-me-up.

He had spent most of the morning on the floo with Cornelius and Ludo Bagman. Both were worried about the increasingly erratic behavior of Harry Potter. He did his best to reassure them that everything was under control. If he was honest with himself, he wasn't so sure.

A knock on his door brought him out of his musings. He acknowledged the knock and the door swung open to reveal Severus with a scowl on his face. Albus sighed. Severus seemed to be in his office almost hourly now.

"What can I do for you Severus?" He asked.

Snape stormed over to the desk and sat down rather forcefully. "I can't take it anymore Albus. The brat has got to go."

"Surely you can't be serious Severus?" Snape's scowl only deepened. Albus sighed. "What has he done this time?"

In response Snape began to take off his robe. "Wait, just tell me what he did instead of showing... please!" Albus said quickly. He did not want to see what was under those robes.

"The brat somehow managed to tattoo 'Kissass' onto my chest. I have no idea how he did it."

Albus stroked his beard and nodded. This seemed particularly tame compared to the pranks Harry had been doing. Unfortunately, Snape wasn't done.

"He also has charmed every toilet in the castle. Whenever I enter a restroom a chorus of 'Oh he's a smelly one isn't he' starts blaring into the halls. And do you want to know what else Albus?" Snape said, leaning towards the headmaster.

Albus mentally sighed but nodded.

"He has poor Draco looking around every corner. The boy woke up screaming in his dorm last night. Why this morning he went to sit in his seat at potions only to jump up screaming," Snape paused to take a breath. Albus's lack of response was driving him nuts. Finally, he lost it. "Well? What are you going to do Albus?"

"Severus, are you sure it was Harry doing this? Could it not have been the twins?" Albus asked.

Snape made to reply only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Snape sneered as Albus asked the person to come in.

To his surprise, a man dressed in blue overalls with a blue denim hat, was at the door. The man walked.. err.. waddled into the room.

"You be Profess... Profess...," The man cleared his throat. "You be the one who runs this school?" He asked, his butchering of the English language caused Snape to sneer even more.

"Why yes I am," Albus said, ignoring the looks from Severus. "And who might you be?" He asked curiously.

The man gripped the sides of his overalls and chuckled. "My names Tom, Tom Smitty. I work for P&P construction."

Albus nodded. "And might I ask. Why you are here at my school?"

"Me Boss said he had a job for us. We were contacted and given instructions to begin this afternoon. Surely you've received word about it?" The man asked. Albus could only shake his head.

"Well... that's a poof than. Hold on a sec," The man waddled past Severus to the tower window. "Oi! You blokes can begin. The headmaster said he didn't know so it shouldn't interfere."

Albus and Snape were at the window faster than you could say 'chocolate frog'. What they saw caused both to gasp.

A giant dump truck was backing up to the lake. Albus's eyes seemed to bulge more as he noticed little short orange men wearing green jumpsuits working alongside it. 'Were they singing?' he wondered.

"What are those things?" Snape asked, with a sneer of course.

The old man scratched his chin. "Don't really know. Boss hired 'em. But they bees working hard."

Albus turned back to the window. Ms. Lovegood was currently chasing two of the little men. Both seemed terrified of the blond. 'I wonder why?'

Albus shook his head and turned back to the man in his office. "I'm sorry. But, I cannot allow this. Please take your equipment and leave," The man made to protest but Albus held up his hand. "I'm not even going to try and figure out how you got that machine here at Hogwarts. But as Headmaster of this school I want it gone."

The man was silent for a moment before he spoke. "I'm sorry Sir. I really am. But, I can't do that sir. You see, you are the one that let me through the gates. Well... not directly... anyways."

Albus raised an eyebrow. "I'm not following you sir," This man was really starting to irk his nerve. "Just how did I allow you through the gates?"

"The tournament of course. My Lord has to compete. According to tournament rules he can practice and study anything in order to prepare, correct?"

"Indeed," Albus stroked his beard. "But what I fail to see is why? Why he would want something like that to help him prepare in the tournament?"

The man gripped his belly and chuckled, doing a very good Santa Clause impersonation. "I'm sorry Sir. But you know the rules. I can't tell you what he'll be using it for."

"Why you stupid man, tell the headmaster!" Snape barked.

The man turned to Snape and waggled a finger. "Nope, you'll find out soon enough."

The man turned and headed out of the office. Snape turned to Albus and raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'well?' Albus walked back to his desk and sat down. Pulling out the bottle of firewhiskey again, he settled into what was obviously going to be a long day.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay everyone. I'm currently getting ready for school to start as well as working extra hours. So thanks for sticking with me. **


	4. Lake Of Doom!

Chapter I don't know?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. But I do own a Mustang... HA take that Ford... ok... so I'm buying the Mustang. You happy?...hello?...**

**Special Thanks to Spartan Ninja for being an awesome Beta!**

Albus strolled towards the black lake with Ludo and Severus beside him. It was the day of the second task, and it looked to be a great day. For the past few weeks Harry Potter had been silent. No... not talking, but quiet. No craziness had been happening and he was happy for a change. Add in the fact the two girls had been mysteriously quiet as well was a bonus.

"Today looks like a great day Albus. The champions are in for a treat I'm sure," Ludo said smugly. Albus glanced at Ludo and rolled his eyes. He knew of Ludo's habits. None could hide much from him. Then again, it was easy to tell when one has certain habits.

"Indeed Ludo, Indeed," Albus glanced to his left and noticed Severus's eyes shifting around. "Are you ok Severus?"

Snape jumped slightly hearing Albus's voice. "Yes Headmaster, why do you ask?" he asked, attempting to pull of his usual sneer.

"You seem a little on edge. Are you sure you're ok?" Albus asked again. In response Snape gripped his cloak and quickened his pace.

"I'm curious as to what Potter was doing with those 'machines' of his. And furthermore, why did you let him bring them here?" Ludo asked, curious.

Albus sighed, yet again. "You know the rules Ludo. The champion can use any means necessary, as long as it doesn't involve dark magic of course."

"I'm not sure I trust those muggle contraptions," Ludo paused. He was still getting used to the word after all. "Those things should be considered dark. I mean look how big they are!"

Albus gave a concerned nod. He too had been wondering what the purpose of those machines were for. His many attempts at finding out only led him to dead ends. 'Yes, Harry was covering his tracks well.'

Ludo suddenly came to a stop. Albus glanced at the man whose mouth was agape. Albus turned to see what had Ludo so shocked only to stumble and gasp himself.

Near the edge of the lake was something massive. The duo however, had no clue as to what it was, for a giant cloth was covering it. Albus spotted Harry standing off to the side from the giant object and quickly changed his course. Ludo followed along, still gaping at the giant object.

Coming up to the trio, who were talking amongst themselves, Dumbledore laid a hand on Harry's shoulder. Unfortunately, this startled Harry, causing him to Karate flip Dumbledore over his shoulder.

Gasps of shock were heard as Dumbledore when flying through the air, before landing with a loud 'thunk' against a large boulder.

Hermione and Luna made a loud squeal before running over to check on the Headmaster.

"Professor, are you ok?" Hermione asked. She was caught by surprise when Harry threw the old man. She also learned a valuable lesson. Don't surprise Harry!

Albus coughed as he sat up. He gave a nod to show he was ok, while not admitting that he was thoroughly embarrassed to have his ass handed to him by Harry.

"Yes my dear. Now, if I can have a word Harry," He turned to Harry. "I was wondering what this is that you have covered. I hope it's nothing too dangerous that could jeopardize yourself or those involved in the tournament?" He asked.

"Of course not Headmaster, I would never harm my fellow champions... on purpose of course." Harry gave the headmaster an all too innocent smile as he spoke the last part.

Dumbledore's gaze had wandered towards the main podium where Ludo was getting ready to begin the second task while Harry was answering. Hearing Harry's after-thought, found his head snapping back to the boy in question. Anything he might have wanted say was cut short however, as Ludo stepped up to the podium and began the opening speech.

As Dumbledore made his way up to the podium to begin the second task, Hermione and Luna moved closer to Harry.

"You ready Harry?" Hermione asked.

Harry gave her a smile that caused her knees to shake slightly. "Of course my 'Mione'." He winked.

Luna was the first to pull him into a kiss, quickly followed by Hermione. Harry pulled his robes off to reveal a pair of swimming trunks. He tied the string and looked to Hermione and Luna. Both girls had a hungry look in their eyes as they took in his well-toned chest.

"Well, I'm off. Wish me luck."

Both girls shook their heads to clear their thoughts. Harry strode towards the platform where the other champions were waiting.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHHPPHPHPHPHPHP

The blast signaling the start of the tournament had three champions jumping in. But oddly enough, Harry didn't budge.

"Harry, what are you waiting for?" Ron called from the stands, his arm around Tracey. The two seemed to be inseparable. Tracey was now a constant presence at the Gryffindor table. Harry couldn't be more happy for his Friend.

Dumbledore approached the podium. "Harry, you must not delay. What you cherish most will be lost if you do not retrieve it. Have you forgotten that you are also bound to a magical contract?" Dumbledore asked worriedly.

Harry smiled at the Headmaster. "I'm well aware Professor. But, first things first, the two objects I cherish the most are safe and sound," He paused to give Hermione and Luna a wave. Both girls seemed nervous about something, at least to Albus anyway. "And second, thanks to Hermione's studies, I only have to do this to fulfill the magical aspect of the contract."

Harry walked over the edge and stuck is foot in. He stepped back and gave a bow.

Albus was speechless, as well as the crowd apparently. To their eyes, Harry seemed to refuse to compete in the tournament. Now, normally this would have caused a certain Blond Slytherin to start spouting off about how Potter thinks the world should kiss his arse. But just by chance, the certain Blond prince was nowhere to be found, much to the dismay of his body guards and betrothed.

Albus had a thought that was worrying him. Forgetting common sense, Albus just had to ask.

"Then might I ask Mr. Potter, What the contraption is that you have under the cloth?"

Harry smiled. "You sure can," He turned towards his two girls. "Hit it ladies."

The cloth was removed to reveal a giant sized mixer. This came to a shock to a majority of the pure-bloods. As most no clue as to what the object was that they were currently looking at. The real attention getter though, was a certain Blond haired prince, attached to the front of it.

A loud humming began as the blades on the mixer began to churn. The crowd watched as Hermione and Luna used their wands to open a part on the machine that began pouring a crystal like substance into the lake.

Draco was in hell, or what he considered close to hell. He had been kidnapped while heading to the loo. He had awakened to find himself covered by some kind of cloth. When it was removed and he found himself two stories above the lake. He did two things then, first he pissed himself, adding to the contents of the lake. And second, he began to scream the girliest scream ever heard of on planet Earth.

…...

Off in the stands a certain set of twins watched on in awe. A small bag of coins was passed from one twin to the other.

"Looks like you were right Fred, Harry's taken it one step further."

"I'm not sure we can top this dear brother... but we will die trying!" George declared.

…...

When Draco's screams reached Ron Weasley's ears, he gripped his sides and roared in laughter. Many of the Slytherin's glared daggers at the red head, while Crabbe and Goyle wondered how the person they were assigned to protect vanished on their watch.

Tracey looked around at all the faces of confusion. She sat back in her sat next to a still laughing Ron while trying to act nonchalant of course. It wouldn't do well for her image for the school to find out that she was the one to help Harry's girls retrieve Draco.

She glanced at the Weasley's twins who looked like they would give their left kidney to find out how the perpetrator of this most infamous prank did this. 'Maybe she should drop them a line?'

…...

Dumbledore noticed the trio began to chant as they stared up at the screaming form of Draco.

"Ula Teck, Ula Teck, Ula Teck." The trio chanted.

Dumbledore quickly strode over to the trio. "Mr. Potter, you stated that no one would be harmed. What are you chanting and why is Mr. Malfoy strapped to this machine?"

Harry turned to Albus smiling. "Oh he's not going to be harmed headmaster. In fact, I think he may enjoy what's to come," Harry started to turn but Albus gave a cough. Harry sighed. "The chant is from some movie or something I saw once. Not sure what it was but Dudley sure was staring at the women's bits in it though. Now, IF you don't mind. We have a sacrifice to perform." Harry turned back to the two girls and began to chant once more.

'Sacrifice? What was the boy trying to accomplish.' Albus soon found out however, as the water of the lake began to turn a dark brown.

"What in Merlin's Beard!" Ludo gasped.

The watery consistency of the lake began to thicken like sludge. Albus noticed the other three champions appear at the surface with their hostages. They began to trudge to the sludge like material.

Within ten minutes the trio of Champions finally made it to the shore, just as the giant machine stopped. The crowd was left speechless as they stared at the once beautiful lake.

"What have you done?" Albus asked.

"Oh not much, we just turned the lake to pudding. Is that cool or what?" The boy beamed at Albus.

"But... don't you realize just what you've done? You've killed the mer-people that live in lake. What of the other creatures in it as well? What of the giant squid?" Albus asked in disbelief.

"As you can see the giant squid if having a blast," Harry gestured across the lake. Sure enough the squid seemed to be enjoying the now pudding lake. "As for the mer-people, well... they'll be missed of course. But hey, in this tournament there's bound to be losses right?"

Albus could only stare in shock as the boy-who-lived gripped the hands of his companions and made for the lake.

Luna pulled a spoon out of nowhere and dived headfirst into the lake of pudding and began to eat. The trio seemed oblivious of everything, even the dead bodies of the mer-people that began to float to the surface.

Cornelius stepped up beside Dumbledore with his hands wringing his lime-green bowler hat. "This is going to look very bad isn't it Albus?" Albus was silent. What was he supposed to say in this situation? Cornelius took the man's silence as agreement. "I wonder what the headline will read. 'Boy-Who-Lived becomes Boy-Who-Commited Genocide. This will be bad Albus. We must fix this!" Cornelius growled out the last word.

Albus could only nod as he watched the trio eat pudding to their hearts content.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPPHPHPHPHPHP

Sometime later...

As the trio were eating, Hermione realized something. "Err... Harry... this isn't the part of the lake that Draco... ya know in is it?" She asked, hoping that it wasn't.

Harry smiled at her. "Nahhhh... I took care of that bit."

Hermione nodded. "So, I wonder if they'll give you a score or not? I mean... you did kind of kill all the mer-people and turn the lake into a giant bowl of pudding. Oh and made people seriously think that Draco might in fact be a woman in disguise with the way he screamed."

Harry shrugged. "I don't really care. I'm just happy to be here with my two girls."

This was the right thing to say as both girls tackled him and kissed him. A pudding fight soon ensued.

Elsewhere, in the Slytherin common room, Draco's two goons came across a fridge full of pudding.

"Hey Goyle, what flavor is yours?" Crabbe asked.

The Slytherin dipped his finger and took a bite. "Mmmmm... Lemon. What's yours?"

Crabbe dipped his finger and took a bite. His face changed several shades of color before he promptly vomited all over a shocked Pansy, who had just entered the common room.

Pansy screamed in fury and hexed Crabbe before storming off to her dorm to change. Goyle watched the scene in silence. Finally, when Crabbe seemed to calm down, he just had to ask.

"Well... what did yours taste like?" He asked.

Crabbed looked him in the eye. "It tasted like S***"

**A/N: Another chapter down, another chapter done. While some things in this chapter might not please everyone. Please remember that this is a humor/crack fic. It's designed to ensure chaos lol. On another note I'm publishing a new series that will be little ideas, stories, and so forth that really didn't go anywhere. I want to ask if anyone has a clue as to what movie the chant was from. Winner gets a virtual cookie ;). On one last note. I'm looking for Omakes for this story. So please get them to me soon as this story only has maybe 4 or so chapters left. Maybe less. Thanks everyone :)**


	5. Maze Madness!

**Mazes are for Noobs!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do own my own thoughts in my head... I think... Damn! My other brains are trying to steal my ideas again :(**

The school year seemed to past by at an extreme pace. Well... that's how Hermione saw it anyways. Her days had been spent studying, laughing, and enjoying time with her boyfriend... and co-girlfriend? It was hard to describe their unique relationship with their blond friend. Harry was often hanging onto either girl and doing the oddest things. There were times when Hermione just wanted to smack Harry upside the head. Then there were other times she just wanted to kiss him until his toes curled. Luna preferred the second method of course; she always did to Hermione's amusement. There was also the question as to the actions of their peers... or inaction she should say. Nearly the entire student body stayed as far away from Harry and 'his girls' as they were now called, for fear of encountering Harry's wrath. While Harry was normally spacey... yeah she said it... spacey… he was quick to attack anyone that threatened his girls. Such was an example that Malfoy clearly demonstrated. The blond had avoided Harry and the girls for nearly a month. But it seemed that his big mouth could never stay shut. He had eventually called Hermione a mudblood again and soon found himself hanging by his toes from the top of the Astronomy tower. Dumbledore eventually made Harry bring him down... after two days of course, thanks to a very good notice-me-not charm. The last they had seen of Draco he had been muttering about giant pink bunnies that were plotting to take over the Wizarding world. Apparently he had been hung upside down for too long. Madam Pomphrey had stated that he would eventually return to normal A as to when though, well... she wasn't quite sure.

Hermione glanced to her side to see Luna, who was currently holding a stuffed Unicorn, bounce up and down in her seat. The stuff toy had been a present to Luna after Harry had realized that it was a bad idea to try and let the blond pet a Unicorn. Oh sure the Unicorn came straight up to her. If Hermione had to guess, it didn't see the future. After apologizing profusely, because Luna wanted to find out of the Unicorn was male or female, Harry gave her the stuffed Unicorn.

The duo was currently sitting in the stands, waiting in anticipation of the champions to enter the maze. Hermione was a little frustrated, with Harry of course. He had skipped their boyfriend/girlfriend time last night. She was more than a bit grumpy. She knew one thing though. His butt had better have a good excuse.

"Are you still upset about what happened at the ball? That was back before the second task you know?" Luna said in Hermione's ear, causing the bushy-haired one to jump. Luna always knew how to catch her off guard.

"I'm not too upset about it. I just wish I knew what drove Harry to spike the punch with muggle alcohol." Hermione stated.

Luna smiled. That was a warm memory for her. It was a lot of fun seeing Draco profess his undying love to Professor Snape. Pansy wasn't too thrilled though. She apparently dragged one of the Gryffindor's off soon after. No one was sure which one though. However, Luna did find it odd that Neville returned later with a large smile on his face, and Pansy was walking a bit bow legged. Luna shrugged to herself. Sometimes it was the quiet ones that were the most surprising. She smiled, she was a quiet one and she was proud of it.

To Luna and Hermione though, the most disturbing memory was Professor McGonagall trying to get jiggy with it. It was just a sight the duo and Hogwarts hopped never to see again.

"Luna, the champions are entering." Hermione said, shaking her co-girlfriend out of her thoughts.

When Harry looked up at the stands, he saw one smiling and one grumpy face. Well, he couldn't have that now could he.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"What's got your nickers in a twist Hermione?" asked Harry.

Said girl just growled. Luna, however, had an entirely different approach.

"Come now Harry, she's just mad that she didn't get any boyfriend time last night. Oh and I'm not wearing any nickers. So how could I get them twisted up?" asked Luna.

Harry and Hermione blinked at Luna owlishly for a moment before Harry burst into laughter. Hermione just growled until Harry stopped it by kissing her.

"Grrr... Stop that Harry," Hermione said, stepping back from him. "I should be mad at you. But I can't stay mad at you. This tournament is stupid Harry. I'm worried about you," Before Harry could even speak Hermione had him wrapped in one of her infamous bone-crushing hugs. "Please be careful for me Harry. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Hermione had begun to cry and Harry, not being sure what to do, looked at Luna. Luna gestured to Hermione's back and Harry got the idea. He began to rub small circles on her back. This seemed to ease Hermione's sobs. He was surprised but also felt great joy that Hermione cared for him so much.

"I promise everything will be OK Hermione," He lifted her chin to stare into her eyes. "Will you be ok?" He asked concerned.

A stray sob escaped her mouth before she launched herself at him once again, locking her lips with his.

A gentle cough broke the lovers embrace. Both teens turned red-faced to see a surprise.

"Mum? Dad?" Hermione asked, looking from one parent to the other.

Harry looked at Hermione's mom and could easily tell where Hermione got her beauty from, as well as her busy hair. A glance at her father told him all he needed to know. Any man would know the look of death that her father was sending him.

Hermione wasted no time in letting go of Harry and running to her parents. Her mother barely had time to react before Hermione had her in a crushing hug. She quickly switched to her father, embracing him as well.

"Mom, Dad, It's good to see you. But, how are you here? I mean with the wards you shouldn't even be able to be standing here or even see the castle." Hermione, being ever the bookworm, stated.

In response Hermione's father held up a silver necklace. On the necklaces was a jewel that seemed to pulsate.

"The Headmaster gave us this. He felt that it would do us good to see where our little girl goes to school. And to see what other things she's been up to." The last was said while looking at Harry, causing said boy to gulp.

Hermione giggled. "Dad, don't be so hard on my boyfriend."

While Hermione's father looked like he was about to blow a gasket, her mother smiled at him while extending her hand. "It's nice to meet you Harry."

Harry smiled and reached for her hand. But, with his luck, Luna decided to throw a wrench into things.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Granger. I'm Luna, Harry and Hermione's girlfriend." Luna then proceeded to grab Harry's face and lock lips with him. As Harry stared at the shock looks of Hermione's parents, he wasn't sure what to say in regards to this.

Hermione's mother immediately turned to her daughter with a puzzled look. Hermione's face was so red it might as well have been on fire. Hermione tried to think of something quick.

"Uh, Mum, Dad, how about you introduce yourselves?" She said with a nervous chuckle.

After sending a look to her daughter that clearly stated 'we will be having a talk' the woman turned to Harry and Luna. "I'm Jenna, and this lug of a man is John."

John was currently staring at Harry with a look that was giving Harry the feeling that he was hoping he might catch burst into flames. It was only Jenna's slap of his shoulder that brought him out of his stance.

"It's nice to meet both of you." He gave a curt nod to Luna.

Luna beamed at the man before looking over at Hermione. "Don't worry Hermione. I won't mention our three-way make out sessions." The blond beamed at the now pale bookworm.

Whether it was luck, an all mighty being, or just plain good timing, Albus chose that moment to announce the start of the third task. Harry quickly gave Hermione and Luna a kiss, all while being under the death glare from Hermione's father. He quickly dashed down the stands and towards the other companions.

HPHPHPHPHPHHPHPH

Dumbledore was worried. So far Harry had caused him nothing but headaches since the start of the tournament. As he watched the raven haired boy step up to the champions. He could only wonder as to what madness the boy had planned.

Ludo, standing beside Dumbledore, was equally worried. He stepped up to the podium to address the champions.

"I want to congratulate you all for making it this far. But, this is a tournament to win," He paused for dramatic effect. "As you can see before you, the next task is a maze. Your goal is to get to the center and retrieve the Tri-wizard cup. But, be warned. The maze has hidden dangers that will test you to the limit. Now, going first will be Cedric Diggory, followed by Vicktor Krum, Fleur Delacour, and... finally…*gulp* Harry Potter," Ludo finished roughly.

The crowd exchanged worried glances while politely applauding. The memories of the previous two tasks seem to haunt quite a few of their nightmares.

Ludo was about to send out a burst from his wand signaling the start of the final task when Cedric and Vicktor came running up to him.

"SIR!" Both cried in unison. "You have to let Harry go first."

Ludo noticed a look of panic in their eyes. "Very well, Mr. Potter shall go first," Ludo turned to Harry. "Ok Harry, you're going first."

Harry smiled and nodded. Ludo gave the signal for the start, but to everyone's surprise... well maybe not much of a surprise given his recent actions, Harry stood looking at Ludo.

"Err... Shouldn't you be trying to complete the task?" Ludo asked, slightly worried at the look Harry was giving him.

"Oh I will. But rather than trying to run through the maze while trying not to die a horrible death, I figured I'd do it the easy way. Accio Tri-Wizard cup!"

There was a moment of silence as the crowd waited to see if the cup would really come. This caused Ludo to laugh. "Harry, surely you've realized the maze prevents the cup from being summoned." He chuckled.

With a finger on his chin Harry looked thoughtful. Out in the stands it was a worried Hermione who gripped Luna's painfully. "Please don't do something stupid."

Harry pointed his wand at the nearest part of the maze and yelled out 'Incendio'. Ludo, Albus, and the rest of the spectators, watched as the maze burned to the ground within seconds.

Ludo turned to Harry. "How did you burn it to the ground so quickly with a simple spell such as 'incendio'?"

"Simple, I soaked the hedges last night... well... my army of house elves did anyways." Harry said, rather lost in thought.

"You have an army of house elves?" Dumbledore asked incredulously.

Harry nodded. No one seemed to mind the fact that Harry had just committed murder again. But with it being it not being humans, no one seemed to care. Well, most people anyway.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Both Hermione and Luna yelled.

Harry looked up to see the duo heading down the bleachers towards him.

"Uh Oh, time for me to grab the goods and run! Accio Tri-Wizard cup!"

The cup zoomed into Harry's hands. Hermione and Luna stopped as they saw Harry give them a surprised look before vanishing into thin air.

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay and short chapter. But, there is a reason. Due to work, school, and being out of work for a week while recovering. I just haven't had the time to write. This chapter is shorter because it's setting up for the grand finale. I'm currently in talks with my beta about whether or not I should continue this into the next few school years. I will be putting up a poll so let me know what you guys and girls think. If it decided to continue. Than this story will be the first book of a Trilogy. Thanks everyone for your continued support. :)**

**Story Advertising: 'Oh God Not Again!' by Sarah1281. It's a Harry/Ginny story. While this isn't my favorite pairing I was drawn to this story because of its humor. And it is extremely funny lol. If you haven't read it, check it out.**

**Special thanks to Spartan Ninja for his support in all this :)**


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